Rusty Bicycle on a Rocky Road

Earlier this week I was attempting to quiet my thoughts and open my mind. I felt particularly “tight”, and like I wasn’t making any headway (haHA!), when I was compelled to pull three cards on the issue.

Queen of Cups [Tarot of the Magical Forest]
I. The Magician [Legacy of the Divine]
Queen of Swords (rx) [Housewives Tarot]

Initial Impressions

The Magical Forest’s Queen of Cups perches on her throne, observing a stream flow past. Maybe she’s meditating on something, as her left hand rests on her knee while she holds the chalice with her right hand. It reminds me to observe my emotions as they arise — don’t dam the river, don’t reject or censor or deny the thoughts that pass by. Instead, be aware and accept them for what they are. Lord knows I have enough negative thoughts in my head to fill that river to flood level.

In the Legacy deck, the Magician is an alchemist melding the power of his mind with scientific practices. He’s focused on suspending a ball in the air before his eyes… but aided by a bolt of light energy from an instrument on his bench. This man knows how to use his mind, but he doesn’t shy away from using the physical tools at hand either, to accomplish what he knows can be done.

The Housewives Tarot Queen of Swords rules her domain with pruning shears wielded at a rose’s stem (which happens to have a man’s head in the center of the flower). I suspect the man is someone (thing?) significant in her life…

Multiple Cards, Multiple Decks

Lately I’ve been playing around with pulling cards from different decks for a single spread. If you’ve ever compared the same card from all your decks, then you already know how one can offer quite different interpretations based on the illustrations alone. And in so doing, you gain an extra dimension by taking a gander at the card to either side of the target card:

1. The card before the QC was the 8C, but it was reversed. Now, I don’t read with reversed cards, so anytime one appears upside down in my deck, I take notice. The 8 of Cups often represents leaving something behind: an outmoded way of thinking, a practice, a person or situation… I’ll have to think and look up what it may mean when it’s reversed. Struggles to leave? Something holding one back from or preventing one from leaving this behind?
   
2. The card immediately before the Housewives’ QS was also The Magician. In this deck, the Magician isn’t nearly as all-powerful, nor does he directly utilize the four elements to manifest one’s desires. Instead he’s a greasy-haired salesman peddling a new-fangled washing machine. When the two cards are laid side-by-side, the first thing that catches my eye is the resemblance between the two male faces. Is she threatening to cut off the magical power that she’s grown and nurtured up to that point? Is she cutting off her nose to spite her face?

Advice from the QSrx: Stop Second-Guessing Myself!

So my problem is… acceptance of my own intuition. I don’t even like thinking about it. Why does it make me uncomfortable? When I think about other people acting on “their gut”, I admire them. I wish I had such a strong sense of what is right. More often than not I’m a quivering pile of indecision.

The reversed Queen of Swords is a bitter, complaining woman, unaccepting of the status quo. She’s impatient, narrow minded and limited in her perspective. Sounds a bit like me when I get frustrated trying to meditate, hear My Folks, listen to my gut, etc etc etc. If I take this as advice for opening my mind, then I expect this is one more iteration telling me to stop second-guessing myself and accept what comes.

And, here comes the nagging.

“Stop doubting yourself.”

What was it E said just the other day? “Hush your self-deprecating thoughts.”

This month’s Lesson? Remember to ask for Guidance. How? Quiet my mind and listen for advice. Do a quick pendulum reading. Consult the cards. *sigh* Tools, tools, tools… and whenever I squash my thoughts and censor my inner counselor, I negate that opportunity for help.

Argh.

My whole life I’ve denied the river of comments flowing through my head. The negative, the self-defeating, the insulting. It’s been safer to block it all off. And now I don’t know how to let them bubble up to the surface again.

The Queen is poised to snip off her prized bloom that has a slimy, conniving, say-what-he-thinks-the-buyer-wants-to-hear head in the middle. That voice has tainted her rose. Is she doing the right thing by cutting it out? Or should she listen to her own powerful Alchemist-Magician words versus the wanna-be salesman-magician blather?

Side Note: if that upside-down Queen doesn’t pay attention to what she’s doing, as soon as she snips that stem, the salesmagician-rose is gonna bop her in the head…